paris: the new workout

we’re planning on going to paris in december.

 i’ve been wanting to go to paris for over 25 years.  i just really wanted to go with someone i loved.  like romantically (sorry mom.)

so now, ROF is using his one week of vacation to take me there!  december may seem like an odd time to go, don’t you think?  not the spring when the buds on the trees are budding and the lovers are strolling down the Seine.  sidetracked <i hate that word ‘lovers’ by the way.  love-er.  almost hate that as much as the M word.>  

but there is a reason i picked december.  

it is the last month in the year and i’d like to lose 40 lbs before going to paris.  i better start.  that’s a lot of weight in not a lot of time.  the problem is, i don’t really want to change anything.  it’s no secret that ROF and i like the good life.  and that is what it is.  indulgence.  we like good friends, good wine, good food, good everything!  and i love living that kind of life with ROF.  but i’m going to have to tap the brakes, as they say, before paris.

because this is my DREAM TRIP and i can’t settle for anything less than feeling great while i’m there.

so if you have some diet pointers (other than stop opening your mouth and eating good things) – send them my way.  use the code word “PARIS”.  I’ll know what you’re talking about.

getting better and brighter

this past week i was fortunate to be forced out of my comfort zone.  

if you remember, i like turbulence on a flight because it shakes me out of my thoughts and forces me to be present.

 

well, that is kind of how this past week was for me.  i’ve worked in the automotive advertising industry for 21 years now (hard to believe) and because some of the programs i’m doing, i was invited as a guest to attend the WFF annual conference in orlando.  i felt as if i was undercover, a poser, a faker.  however, when i shared who i was with some of the incredible women i met, they were impressed!  they thought it was a great idea that i was learning about their industry and they were, in turn, interested in mine.

i had the privilege of sitting through 6 one and a half hour long seminars taught by leaders in their field:

 

1. excavating the future: interactive session for reflection and planning for the year ahead (kellogg school of business professor)

2. seeing the big picture by kevin cope

3. courage, credibility and stretching your comfort zone

4. 21 ways to connect in business in 90 seconds or less (excellent)

5. taking the stairs: success means doing things you don’t want to do

6. accelerate your impact as a business leader

 

the goal of the program is content and connection so in each of these, I did exercises with and met women in the foodservice industry.  i have to say it has opened my eyes to what a great industry it is.  here are my scribbles of notes from the seminar.  they provided full decks and overviews but i listen best if i’m writing at the same time.

• Sustained high performance requires rest
• Productivity goes in 90 minute cycles
• An impression happens in 2 seconds:  I trust you, you make sense, you move me.
• Difference between motivation (money) and inspiration (create unstoppable employees)
• #1 predictor of a successful person: Ability to Speak Up
• 5 superpowers: Enthusiasm, Curiosity, Feedback, Empathy and Imagination
• If people like you, they want to say YES to you, if they don’t they want to say NO to you.  They decide this very quickly.
• 5 ways to make lasting impression: Attitude, eye contact, smile, open body language, synchronize.
• Leaders speak in the positive, because people only process positive information.
• Know what you want in the positive (horse example)
• 55% of people are visual, the rest are kinetic or audio.  If you’re talking to a group, you need to engage all of them.  Tell a story
• IAKOLA.  stands for I’m Am Kind Of Like A…. fill in the blank. (pit bull example)
• It is key to understand how a company makes money.
• Key that EVERYONE knows how a company makes money
• Everyone needs to know their role in actively improving that process
• Selling or supporting someone that is selling is key to increased revenue
• Companies pay slower and collect faster for cash flow purposes
• No margin, no mission  Stephen Covey
• If you’re not unique, you better be cheap
• That which you measure, you damage, that which you manage, you improve
• Growth is important to a business because it attracts and keeps the best people
• People work hard for a paycheck, harder for a person and hardest for a purpose
• People want the big picture, need to engage employees hearts AND minds
• Problems that are procrastinated on are amplified
• Buffalo run into the storm to get through it, cows run from the storm and end up running with the storm for long periods of time.
• Short term choices lead to difficult long term consequences
• Leverage long term vision to endure short term sacrafice
• You need to CONSTANTLY REMIND PEOPLE OF THE VISION
• The more we have invested into something the less likely we are to let it fail
• Neutral thinking always becomes negative
• Increase your commitment by asking the question HOW can I do this rather than SHOULD i do this
• Some of us care so much about success that we procrastinate and wait for a perfect time
• Cultivate a habit of action
• Demand progress rather than perfection
• Comparison is not only the thief of joy but the definition of mediocracy
• Success is never owned, it is rented and the rent is due every day.  
• or being healthy is never owned…
• or leading a team….

overall it was a great sunday, monday and tuesday with 2600 bright women.

quick thought – advertising for good

if every big time advertiser partnered with one or more charities and gave the cause just :05 attention on their TV or digital ads, think about the much needed attention that charity would get.  

those big decisions

now that i think about it, i was always driven by inspiration and passion.

i was far from an all star all “a’ student in high school.

in fact, i don’t even remember caring to be one.  that seems like such a sin to say out loud in a day and age where high school kids are half way through college courses before they even get out of high school.  but it wasn’t a priority in my family.  in fact, it wasn’t even important to stay at the same school.  i went to two different grade schools and three different high schools – all in different states.

do you have any clue what it’s like to be the new person in school – even once? 

if you don’t, it is an entirely different challenge than getting good grades.  you want to fit in but you’re new, so first you have to figure out what fitting in means.  for some reason, that was always important to me – fitting in.  i can see where that wouldn’t be a need for everyone  - especially someone who went to school with the same people their entire student life.  but it was for me.   i made some great friends through the years but unfortunately for me, i was always moving on to the next adventure.

when it was time for me to go to college – the wanting to excel at school thing still hadn’t kicked off in me yet.  and i went to the university of cincinnati to be close to my grandma whom i loved beyond belief.  but unfortunately she died a week before my high school graduation and i had to go there without her being in cincinnati which was a very sad time for me.  but once again, it was time to fit in yet again.  and i met some awesome friends and had too much fun.  so much so that i couldn’t go back the next year.  i moved home and went to a community college for one semester.

it was there that i made probably one of the most important decisions of my life.

deflated and not really encouraged to do anything, i decided for myself that i wanted more.  i wanted much more and education was a part of it.  i took some advanced english courses in high school and my teacher told me back then that i would love columbia college in downtown chicago.  i remembered that and contacted the teacher – now a year later – and got the name of that school.  mom and i rode the commuter train together to downtown chicago and walked the eight blocks to michigan and harrison street to the school.  this by far, was out of my comfort zone and i loved it.

next was deciding what i wanted to do.  one thing i loved more than anything was magazines.  you can read more about that here.  and the ads in the magazine WORKED ON ME.  that is when i decided i wanted to be in advertising.  and the school i was now standing in front of was an excellent school for marketing communications.  it may not have been a top 10 school and i may have to live at home and miss out on all the great sorority life and hee haw of college.  risk possibly becoming even more far removed from my friends who all went away.  but now i had passion and direction and ever since that decision I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK.

to be continued…

things to love today

there are so many little things to love, here are a few things i’m loving right now…

1. portlandia.

this show tickles me.  carrie & fred are my new best friends after flying around the country with them on my ipad.  it pokes fun at portland in a lovable, hysterical way.  they love the city, love working with each other and i’m so happy i stumbled upon them!  this humor isn’t for everyone.  you are either the kind that won’t get this at all, won’t think it is funny or smile constantly throughout the whole episode like i do.  like check out the opening song here. 

2. one kings lane

there are a crazy ton of shopping sites out there and quite honestly, i’m a huge amazon fan.  nothing like buying something you don’t need without leaving your bed. and getting it the next day.  there is joss & main and  the foundry and rue la la.  but one kings lane, in my estimation is the best.  kinda addicted.  this site has been around for a while – so nothing new here – but i have ordered several awesome things from this site with great success.  it is reminiscent to going to searching through a flea market but on-line and everything is great – not crap.

ok.  so nothing like a flea market.

3. detroit

to say i love detroit would not be doing my feelings justice.  after hearing for years and years about the “dreaded” transfer to detroit or just people wrinkling up their nose when you mention it’s name – i really didn’t expect to be so taken.  the most notable thing about detroit and the areas surrounding detroit is that the people here love it here.  not just like it.  love it.  we have people at my office who live downtown or in midtown (same thing to me) who absolutely glow with pride talking about the places to eat and things to do.  i love that.

what’s even more important to note is that detroit isn’t just something to be surprised by but i’m even ashamedly in awe of some of the despair – spray painted buildings because they are somehow beautiful.  it’s not enough to stop there because the point that i’m at – that moves me to HELP detroit is that after watching this documentary – detropia – is that detroit is not detroit’s problem – it’s our entire country’s problem.  just like the country rallies around new orleans post-katrina and new york post-sandy – the country needs to rally around detroit.  everything exciting, big and great started from this city otherwise know as motown and the motor city.  it was built to hold the millions that lived here but now it’s only 700,000 spread out all over the city.  we need help and i want to be a part of the upswing of this wonderful city!

i think anthony bourdain said it best:

Anthony Bourdain’s blog, July 27: Detroit. Where just about everything cool originated. As angry as one gets looking at block after block of abandoned row houses in Baltimore and wondering how the hell that happened, it’s mind boggling to see how far Detroit has been allowed to fall. But what a truly magnificent breed of crazy-ass hardcase characters have dug in there. Of all three cities we visited, Detroit, oddly enough, even while looking the jaws of death straight in the face, remains closest to being a true culinary wonderland. This is due entirely to the successive waves of migration and immigration from all over the world, when people came to MAKE things in America — each group bringing their own food and traditions. Detroit IS the story of America, for better — and worse, and I think we’ve missed that, allowed ourselves to look away. Detroit, after all, made us who we are. Literally. A country of cars, highways, car culture, upward mobility, rock and roll, rhythm and blues, and what were once, unlimited dreams. Whatever happens next, Motown, Eminem and the Stooges’ “Fun House”, at least, shall surely outlast the automobile.

of course, those from detroit are thinking – yeah – well said from your toasty home in birmingham.  well just you wait.

the long abandoned beautiful train station

 

that’s it for now.  have a great week!

toronto//travel

this past weekend, ROF and i scurried off to toronto for a weekend getaway.

it was my first time ever in canada and i loved it.  only 4 hours away from birmingham, michigan it wasn’t a bad trip at all.  i was glad to read my friend and  former neighbor’s great travel blog: roam & home before i went and we then knew about some restaurants and areas to hit.

we stayed at the park hyatt toronto which we do because we have upgrade points and really enjoy their hotels.  while typically i’d say to stay somewhere local – i’ve since rescinded my pov on that.  it’s nice to explore local neighborhoods and restaurants and cities and then sleep somewhere somewhat familiar.  what do you think?

anyway, at the top of the hyatt was an awesome bar.  you know the type, low lit, manly decor with great big stools and lounging couches and tables. it had a wrap around deck too.  it was there that we met joe gomes a bartender that has been at the same bar for 54 years.  we loved him and you can see his picture below.  he has been the source of several interviews and it was awesome to be able to hang with him for a while.

we went to la societe bistro on bloor street, walkable from our hotel, and had the best escargot in the world.  thanks to jeff & sherri for that recommendation.  the next day we explored a wonderful area called queen street west which is just a funky fun street with all kinds of shops and restaurants.  i kicked ROF’s ass in cards at a coffee shop there.  we also went to terroni which was absolutely outstanding.  thanks karen v for that suggestion.  we had a puzzo pizza and calamari and some italian soda and beer.  perfect for a snowy saturday afternoon.  of course, i had to snag some olive oil and marinated peppers to bring back.

we then headed back to the hotel and because it was snowing quite ferociously, we stayed in the hotel and had a wonderful dinner at annona where we could look out at the beautiful sparkly snow. the seafood risotto and the salmon were to die for!

so much looking forward to my next canadian adventure!

don’t call it a resolution, it’s re-focusing

i’ve always loved new things and experiences.  like the first day of school after goofing off all summer. new clothes and a new notebook with that first blank page just begging to be written on with your new pen from your new book bag (didn’t have backpacks back in my day.)

lately, i’ve been experiencing a lot of “new” things.  new city, new neighbors, new state, new co-workers, new office, new house – lots.  but my favorite kind of new is a new year.  typically, i put a lot of thought into starting anew.  not just resolutions but keeping my mind focused on what is important and what is not.  if you’re not careful, you can get wrapped up in the small things thinking they are the big things.

so it is about this time of year that i seek out photos of times i can remember being, well … exuberant.  i use that guidance i may need to get re-focused. here is one such photo:

the reason why i chose this picture is because i can remember feeling really good about myself.  healthy, confident and pretty.  not that i’m not those things now but once again, it’s about re-focusing for a new year.  i was eating well, enjoying myself and life and was inspired by the people around me which is always a bonus.

the other thing i do is download (or buy) books that help with this re-focus.  i love the first page of quotes in this book .  i haven’t read the book yet, so i’m not endorsing, but read these and tell me they don’t make you feel something!

————————————

To change one’s life:

Start immediately.

Do it flamboyantly.

No exceptions.   WILLIAM JAMES

Saying is one thing and doing is another. MONTAIGNE

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. RALPH WALDO EMERSON

We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions. ISAAC BASHEVIS SINGER

Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don’t just stand there; make it happen. LEE IAO COC CA

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not. WALTER BAGEHOT

The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. H. NORMAN SCHWARZKOPF  

They talk most who have the least to say. MATTHEW PRIOR  

There are very few people who don’t become more interesting when they stop talking. MARY LOWRY  

Noise proves nothing—often a hen who has merely laid an egg, cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. MARK TWAIN

The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions CONFUCIUS    

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

——————————

so here’s to us digging in, re-focusing in 2013 and being the best we can possibly be.  for us and for those we influence!

keep calm and don’t forget to be awesome from therekindledpage on easy.

 

like it or not – you’re making an impact.

for some reason, this has weighed a lot on my mind lately and i can’t remember what has brought it on. maybe it is moving and all the emotions that go along with that.

it’s something that is easier to see being applied to someone else - but not necessarily yourself. you are important to someone. you’re important to many people. we have such a hard time truly grasping the reality of us being a living, breathing NEED in someone’s life. but we are. we make an impact on others.

my biggest example of this is my dad. before he passed away, he left and divorced my mom. you can read all about that in “my story” over to the right and at the bottom (grab some wine, sit down with it if you must) but i was 30 and it absolutely tore any sort of solid ground i was standing on out from underneath me. i decided to not talk to my dad for about 6 months (at the time, it was planned out to be forever) i didn’t know how to act when i had been so hurt. my cousin, jim, said to me: ” i think your dad underestimated how you’d react”. it was then that i thought that my dad made a decision and didn’t really think about anyone else but himself. you may say – well, yea – that is who he should be concerned with, right?

but to add to the “we are important” comment above, we don’t realize the IMPACT we have on other people.

there is so much strife in this world without adding to it. relatives not talking to one another, friends not moving over a sticking point, friends moving/leaving/abandoning you. as i roll over these thoughts more, i think back to the ted video from brene brown on vulnerability. if you haven’t seen it, click here.

the thing is – you can control two things and there is one thing you can’t control.

you can control:

1. telling someone that they are important to you. you’re not confessing anything, you are not saying you condone what they do or what they’ve done but let them know that THEY AFFECT YOUR LIFE. write a note. send a text. mail a postcard. dial a number. leave a message. here is the script:

“you need to know that you are important to me.” and add one reason why. and that’s it. maybe that is to someone that you see and talk to every day. your husband, your mom, your sister, a friend, a co-worker, a mentor. maybe it is someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, maybe it is someone who has passed away, maybe they did you wrong. but you still think about them. they take up real estate in your head. i’d say that is important.

you can also control:

2.owning that you’re important and knowing that you affect other people. your decisions while your own, do affect other people either positively or negatively. that applies to many decisions: decision to drive after having too much to drink, decision to silence your phone when your daughter is talking, decision to say ‘i’m sorry’ or ‘you’re forgiven’.

you can’t control:

3. the fact that others make decisions that impact you in a negative way. you can only focus on people you have an impact on and people that have impacted you in a positive way.

who are those people in your life? can you give me one person and why?

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”

Jackie Robinson

new york botanical gardens escape

while in NY for business, i got a chance to stay until saturday at my sister/brother in-laws house in chatham, nj.

you can’t beat new jersey in the fall.  you know, now that i think about it – new jersey and detroit are very similar.  yes, one is a state and one is a city but they both have totally skewed perceptions about them.  you’d think (from the media) that the minute you step in new jersey a mad housewife is going to come yelling at you or a snookie is going to bump into you at the grocery store.  but new jersey is gorgeous.

detroit – same thing.  while some of it true – it is still the murder capital of the country and all – no one ever mentions how fantastic the neighboring towns are.

anyway, fodder for a future post.  i was thinking it, so i wrote it.  

susan and i went to the beautiful new york botanical gardens in the bronx (hello…the bronx y’all!)  last week we stole away for a few hours and walked the grounds where there was a monet exhibit and had a wonderful lunch.  we also rode a tram (freezing cold!!) around the entire grounds.  who knew it was started in the 1800′s?  not i.

this picture above was not made in the future.  yes, it is only october, 2012 not 2013 but i can’t change it or don’t have time to – so please ignore.  thanks mom for letting me know!

mindful of life, while you live it

what a great sermon we listened to this sunday.

thank you Dr. Blair Monie!  it was uncanny that my mom had mentioned something similar to the theme of the sermon the evening before.  it was talking about being really mindful of where you were, where you have been from and where you’re going.  i guess we all can get in a place where a day is just another day.  or we’ve never really changed anything up so that we see the same things, talk to the same people and basically are content.  nothing wrong with that unless everything in your life is routine and therefore there is the fear that you could take everything for granted.  taking things for granted means that we’re not really mindful of the present.

why is that important?

because someday you will get old and your memories (if that) will be all you have.  not just memories of big trips or events like getting married – but everything.   like that rainy sunday you went to the movies with your mom and you both shivered under a shared umbrella while laughing and running to the car.  or the crunch of that favorite sushi roll you enjoyed with your sister-in-law while talking and sharing and getting to know each other.

the above was more my commentary than that of our pastor.  he reflected on the play “our town”, in which one of the main characters can choose one day to go back and experience one more time.  she chooses her 12th birthday party.  she finally finds it too painful, and realizes just how much life should be valued, “every, every minute.” poignantly, she asks the stage manager whether anyone realizes life while they live it, and is told, “No.

do you realize life while you live it?

dr. monie described a powerful message in psalm 8.

¹ Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory
in the heavens.
² Through the praise of children and infants
you have established a stronghold against your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
³ When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
⁴ what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?^[c]

⁵ You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor.
⁶ You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
you put everything under their feet:
⁷ all flocks and herds,
and the animals of the wild,
⁸ the birds in the sky,
and the fish in the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

⁹ Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

my own appreciation of my Lord is another blog post, or perhaps another blog all together.  as it is certainly something i don’t take for granted.  everyone has their own “religion” (and, to each their own) but i have a relationship with God and this psalm is so magnificent.  powerful in the thinking that He is mindful of us.  no matter what your upbringing, no matter what pain we’ve been through – or any apathetic, agnostic nothingness (which is worse, to me) – He has crowned us with glory and honor. to me, if God is mindful of me, then that blows my mind.  and makes me realize that i must be just as mindful of Him.  oh, the challenge in that!